I think moving out of the west side might help too :/

Babysteps.

I rode the bus/walked to work in a very upscale neighborhood, and while post people weren't chatty, those who were were like your experiences.

Plus *gobs* of honking horns/wolf-whistles.

And one guy saw me standing at the bus stop alone and offered to drive me home. When I said no he said, "What? I'm not going to cut your throat or anything, haha."

I said "Isn't that what a murderer *would* say?"
He only left when three other people walked up to the bus stop. Scary.

OK...so please. Tell me what WOULD be an "acceptable" way to strike up a conversation with someone you might...or might not...be interested in? Is it so horrible to just want to chat with someone without wanting to go out with them? Is it so horrible even if you DO want to go out with them?

This article states that if both parties meet in church and have their respective mothers with them at the time then that is the safest situation. Hopefully that was a facetious statement, but at this point I am not so sure.

Is there anything that one could do to not be labeled a potential rapist / murderer / assaulter while still being able to have some sort of human contact significant or otherwise?

A lot of it is paranoa, just be respectful, give her space, and if she genuinly seems to want to engage in conversation then go ahead.

I'm just biased because I don't seem to run into as many nice guys.. Well I probably do, but I don't usually remember the face of the guy that helps me load my bike onto the bus rack, but I do remember the face of the guy offering me a ride while I am waiting (alone) in a secluded area for the bus.

Meeting a nice guy is nice, I just personally spend more time worrying about my own safety when out and about on my own than I do about casually chatting with strangers.

I think that there is a difference between living in fear and being cautious.
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I keep wanting to bring up parallels that I draw between this and race. How I could justify my avoidance of Black people after a Black man took my wallet. How stereotyping and a negative bias is wrong in situations of race, but not here. But they aren't the same.

Why? Because we men are going to be the ones that commit crimes, regardless of race. We can't fully justify being racist because crime rates aren't *that* different between different races. But crime rates are vastly biased when it comes to sex. We all know that men will be the ones that commit crimes in the majority of cases.

Now, you can still argue whether or not having a bias against men is fair. But I don't think we should be angry at women who are cautious.

Allways keep a can in my back pocket ^_^
Wish I had it when I ran into the dude in the truck tho.

Really, do you expect me to believe that 3/4 of the men on the bus hit on her?

Sorry, I don't buy it. I just don't. I doubt that 3/4 of the men on the bus even notice her--or anyone else. Most men are just going about their day, just like most women are. Do they see an attractive woman? Sure. Do they ogle her? Probably not. You notice attractive men in the park, is that rude of you? Objectify them as eye candy, that's ok?

*edit to add the quote to specify what I'm responding to

Im telling you right now that did not feel like chili

Thank you Maven well said

3/4 of the men on the bus? Of course not. I was refering to roughly 3/4 of the time I traveled on the bus I would run into at least one. But to be fair I did travel during mid day when all the normal people were at work. The only people I usually met who had a job on the bus were working with food (like myself)

I still shudder when I think of that one jackass.
My boyfriend I were walkin down a fair busy street when this punk stuck his head out of the window and yelled "I'd f**k your girlfriend!" sometimes I just wonder wtf is wrong with people.

But put that into context...75% of the trips, one person. How many people were on the bus?

I've seen women say things like that to other women.

A guesstimate of 15 people on the average bus.

75% of the time, one person responded in that way.

Doing that math, it works out to 5% of all people encountered on the bus over all trips.

Not trying to make light of this at all. I am pointing out the disparity in statistical quotes.

75% sounds a lot worse than 5%

This is all well in good, but I can't say I kept the numbers so it is all guestimation. Just suffice to say that when I did work odd hours it was not uncommon to bump into creepy old men. Also, most of the more demeaning comments came from the engineers that ate in our cafeteria -_-

For some reason guys my own age were rarely rude to me which is why my new college based route is much much more pleasant.

Oh I'm sorry if I mispoke, but I didn't mean it like that at all. I was refering to people on buses, people driving by, people honking, just people in general that I would encounter fairly often on my bus route.

Yes, this is what I was trying to say as well. If I hadn't spent precious minutes trying to be polite and not offend, I might have gotten out of my bad situations before anything happened. It was trying to be polite that got me into that mess, not wanting to offend, be a nice girl and a good girl.

Now, things are different. I'm not hypervigilant, but I'm aware of myself and my surroundings and that includes the behaviour of the people around me. You ring my alarms, friend or stranger, male or female, and I am immediately in protection mode. Yes, I will walk away on you mid-sentence or tell you directly to stop bothering me. Your right to attempt interaction, even if you're trying to be positive, does not trump my right to feel secure, and if I don't feel secure, it's over.

(And yes, I do chat with strangers on buses, in coffee houses, and at stores, I'm just wayyyy more careful about it.)

Whish I could double upvote you for the attitude.

I agree that you should watch for signals. I have a lot of experience hitchhiking and it's easy to tell who will not take you with them even if they are going the right way, before you talk to them. By the way, by talking to people I've found 19/20 who are going the right way will offer to take you along, so suck on those statistics.