But where will I store them in Ontario?

edit: And more importantly, where can I find a blog about storing them in Ontario?

Will I be able to download videos of the latest HUGE SILVER BACK GORILLA BUTLER RENTALS?

Thanks for the interest. We're currently looking into the viability of this. Keep checking the site for updates!

Just fill in the contact form for our once-a-whenever the hell I can be bothered newsletter

I just spewed coffee across the kitchen table.


*orders gorilla*

Oh, this makes it so much easier to understand...

Email I just received



*snickers*

Bloody brilliant if you ask me...

*Orders Gorilla*

I have many questions about my HUGE SILVERBACK GORRILA RENTAL:

1) Many of my friends are jerks. They may attempt to challenge HUGE SILVERBACK GORRILLA BUTLER to fistycuffs in order to establish dominance. Does your service come with tranquilizing darts and shock prods?

2) May I use them on my friends? They are jerks.

3) Exactly how huge are we talking here?

4) What sort of Bludgeoning Insurance do you provide?

Thank you for your interest.

1) We don't provide any kind of tranquillising darts or shock prods as our gorilla's are highly trained and integrated.

If one of your friends were to 'start' on them they are trained in conflict resolution and would ultimately ignore violent confrontation or seek to "talk the aggressor down".

2) As stated above our gorilla's won't engage in any violent confrontation therefore your best option may be to not have jerks as friends in the first place

3) HUGE! Around 470lbs of pure gorillainess [sic]

4) We provide no insurance against bludgeoning . You will be required to sign a disclaimer at the point of payment so that in the highly unlikely occurrence of personal injury HUGE SILVERBACK GORILLA RENTALS™ will not be held liable. All of our butlers ARE insured against property damage that may occur during your gorilla butler hire, ie. broken glasses etc.


Thank you again for your interest and we hope to do business with you soon


*edit* Your questions have been added to our new FAQ page

Dear sir. Thank you for your timely response to my queries on your HUGE SILVERBACK GORILLA BUTLER RENTALS. I cannot wait to be the envy of all my friends, even if they are all jerks.

I have several more frequently asked questions for your consideration.


1) How frequently are these questions asked?

2) If requested politely, will the HUGE SILVERBACK GORILLA BUTLER peform his duties while riding on the back of a small pony? Will you supply this pony?

3) It is widely known that Gorillas are staunch vegetarians, and all of my guests are red-blooded Americans who will demand their meals to be composed of nothing but steaming, bloody meat.
Will your HUGE SILVERBACK GORILLA BUTLERS be able to handle this, or will they get all preachy and "accidentally" tip the whole roast sucking pig into the swimming pool?

4) Have you any Gibbons? Orangutans? If requested, can you supply my party with Marmosets?

Thank you again for your interest.

You will find your questions answered on our newly updated FAQ page

thanks for welcome good site